This article was originally posted on the now defunct 3DSTribe several years ago when the 3DS was launched. The original page written by me is now no longer available online. However, after the mild success that it achieved previously, I have decided to reupload it for people to be able to read it once again.
Originally when the 3DS was released, Nintendo uploaded the entire manual up onto their site. Since we couldn’t understand anything in it, we decided to come up with our own captions for some of our favourite cartoons in the manual:
Too much 3DS will leave you cross eyed and perplexed.
Do not look into the laser! Unless you hate your corneas, then by all means go right ahead. If you are Superman, please don’t try and have a ‘laser off’ with the 3DS.
The Nintendo 3DS is not intended to be submerged in water or other liquid products. Do not throw your sticky drinks over it.
The Nintendo 3DS is not a toy. Keep away from babies, rubber ducks and table edges at all times.
Please keep away from flowers, the Nintendo 3DS will overpower you and attack them.
The Nintendo 3DS is not a cushion. Please refrain sitting on it (even if it feels comfy).
As a precaution, those who cherish their thumbs should keep it away from the hinge at all times. Getting your thumb trapped in there will hurt. A lot.
In the event of a boiling hot day, the Nintendo 3DS may begin to melt. Do not put it next to a cold hand drier to cool it down. Let it melt and see what it looks like. It’ll probably give off some funky fumes,too.
A rubbish Wi-Fi signal will result in the system portraying random, disgusting 3D images until you get your act together and get further in range. When you do, it’s smiles all round.
The Nintendo 3DS should not be used at full brightness in a dark room. Doing so will result in a permanent blue tan.
The Nintendo 3DS loves magnets. Fire one next to your shiny new handheld and watch it sleep. N.B.This will be a permanent sleep. It’s ok though, you can buy a new one and do it all again.
The Nintendo 3DS comes with one grown up, perfect for fighting away germs whilst you blast zombies heads off.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading some crazy captions that I had made several years ago. It was fun to look back over them again after finding them on an old hard drive and getting it re-uploaded. If after all these years you still don’t have a 3DS, you can get one from Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk since they’re generally going for the cheapest price there compared to the Nintendo store.