With the upcoming release of the iPhone 7, one big shock has emerged from this. This is to do with the actual construction of the phone itself.
Apple has decided that it is now time to move away from the conventional touch screen format that everyone has become accustomed to over the years and instead move back to a QWERTY keyboard design. This will be akin to the old BlackBerry and Nokia phones that had some popularity before Apple decided that they would throw their hat into the market place.
The size of the phone is also going to be shrunk down from that of the 6S model since it is clear that not every user out there has hands that are equal to Andre the Giant’s.
Further, the case itself will be see through, not unlike the GameBoy Pocket was many moons ago. Nothing screams out the 1990’s quite like a see through case so that you can see the innards of your device. Of course, they need to be careful and not try and dupe the consumers like the Coleco Chameleon nearly did…
In terms of internal hardware, this model will sport the new A12 processor. This is an octa-core chip that has a base clock speed of 4GHz and if it is the case that it needs to be thermal throttled then it will drop down to 3GHz. There is also the option of water cooling this device, which was previously shown on Linus Tech Tips for those that are interested in this.
In terms of RAM, there is going to be 32kb on board which is more than enough for Facetime, and that new feature that has a moving photo for about half a second. To compensate for any potential bottle necks, the screen will be completely black and white to ensure that not all the memory on it is being used. It will be a simple TFT display that you need to hold at just the right angle to ensure that you can see everything that is going on with the 2.5 inch screen.
As a first time treat to those that listen to music on their iPhone, the iPhone 7 will contain DTS-HD audio. By utilising the spaces between the keys on the full QWERTY keyboard, Apple and DTS have come up with a unique speak solution that allows just enough of the music through so that you can annoy the people on the bus with your poor taste in music in stereo instead of mono. This is a real game changer and Samsung should have been the first to market with this little feature.
iPhone 7 will also have an indestructible case (on the premise that you don’t drop the device). This will surely bring the sheep in to buy this latest product who upon breaking it will go and buy the iPhone 8.
Oh and you can also make phone calls with it if that’s your bag…
Please note that this is merely a joke and it isn’t a late April Fools gag either. I was just bored and thought this would be a funny way to make others laugh.